


Renaming 5 Seconds of summer to Gay-Punk-gay-Rock-gay

by KayleighMcCamyo



Series: Groupchats of One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer [5]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angry!Louis, Crack, Daddy Kink, Humor, I am so sorry, M/M, OT3, OT4, bi!ashton, bi!michael, comming out, crackfic, groupchats, trash talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleighMcCamyo/pseuds/KayleighMcCamyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cal: I need new friends cuz mine ones are so gay their brains turned to superwholock fandom, or some other gay shit.</p><p>Luke: you said yourself you’d enjoy getting down on your knees infront of Jack.</p><p>Ash: I bet Alex would join immediately.</p><p>Cal: All time low are shittiest band ever</p>
            </blockquote>





	Renaming 5 Seconds of summer to Gay-Punk-gay-Rock-gay

Luke Hemmings (Luke) started a groupchat. He’s invited: Mikey, Cal, and Ash.

 

 **Luke** : Um…. Kids?

 **Ash** : yas, daddy?

 **Cal** : o my god

 **Mikey** : im not drunk enough for this

 **Luke** : ashie can we please pretty please have one conversation without you mentioning your daddy kink

 **Ash** : ME?!? M E,§!?! YOU HAVE STRATED IT??!

 **Cal** : tru

 **Mikey** : luke you are an adult man, you should know better than to give him the opportunity

 **Luke** : BUT HE'S AN ADULT, TOO?!?!

 **Cal** : did you consider his mental age?

 **Mikey** : yeah, he’s like, 5 or so.

 **Cal** : that's why he can call daddy anyone, even Luke.

 **Mikey** : lukey is too cute to be daddy.

 **Cal** : i don't think ashie-baby is a detailist like that, he gets what he can

 **Ash** : Gentlemen, I am still present.

 **Mikey** : sush hon we are debating your daddy kink it's just a boring adult thing to do, go and play, baby, we love you very much.

 **Cal** : and don't play with a ball in the house, we don't want you to get hurt.

 **Mikey** : exactly we love you so much, baby

 **Cal** : you must be careful when playing inside, honey, daddies love you so much

 **Luke** : im leaving the band.

 **Cal** : don’t be grumpy, Luke, you’ll get yourself in a time-out.

 **Mikey** : don't be so harsh o him, maybe he just feels left out and wants attention

 **Mikey** : do you want some cuddles, baby-penguin?

 **Cal** : you are right. Do you want to cuddle your fav daddy, Lukey-honey?

 **Luke** : im leaving this band and im not even kidding.

 **Ash** : I think this band has some serious issues.

 **Cal** : says the guy with a daddy kink.

 **Mikey** : on the other hand, where is the lie, tho.

 **Luke** : …

 **Luke** : Mikey r u alright

 **Mikey** : what

 **Mikey** : why

 **Luke** : well it almost looked like you are thinking like, logically. You know, taking a neutral stance, reasoning…

 **Cal** : oh sweet jesus on a stick

 **Mikey** : ME?!?!?!?!

 **Ash** : Luke did you have to…

 **Mikey** : REASONING:?!!?!??><>ß$}{@&#>*ß!!.:

 **Cal** : omg

 **Mikey** : NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Ash** : Here we go.

 **Mikey** : IM PUNKROCK I DO WHATEVER I WANT FUCK LOGIC

 **Luke** : THEN PROVE IT

 **Mikey** : I DIED MY HAIR FUCKING PINK

 **Cal** : oh my god

 **Mikey** : IVE GOT TATTOOS and PIERCINGS

 **Ash** : im leaving this band

 **Mikey** : YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TATTOS OR DYE UR HAIR OR GET ARESTED OR WRITE IRONIC LYRICS U JUST PLAIN BORING

 **Ash** : cal stop it

 **Cal** : no i can't i am scared of them

 **Luke** : I KNOW WHAT PUNKROCK IS UNLIKE YOU I KNOW HOW TO REASON AND I HAVE WRITTEN MORE BALLADS THAN YOU HAVE

 **Ash** : Calum stop this before they tear appart out band

 **Mikey** : I AM WAY MORE PUNKROCK THAN YOU I AM BI JUST LIKE BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG

 **Luke:** I-

 **Cal:** …

 **Cal** : Mikey do you even know what it means

 **Ash:** Honey you do know Bi isn't na abbrevitation of Billie Joe Armstrong’s name, don't you.

 **Mikey** : im leaving this band.

 **Luke** : hey that's what I say…!

 **Mikey** : YEAH LUKE IMAGINE U NO THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS BAND AND THIS IS NOT ONLY YOUR BAND AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO HATES THIS BAND EVERYONE HATES THIS BAND ESPECIALLY ME BECAUSE YOU DISRESPECT ME AND I HATE Y‘ALL

 **Ash** : okay, Mike, okay, yeah just calm down a bit, kitten, okay

 **Cal** : yeah, you fine, mikey, u punk-rock.

 **Mikey** : and fyi yes i know what bi means although i am an idiot

 **Cal** : wow.

 **Ash** : we… we didn´t  mean it like that, mikey.  

 **Luke** : mikey? Like… do you… uhn, are u serious? With the bi thing, you know? It's alright, tho, or you just showing off how punkrock you are?

 **Cal** : mikey?

 **Ash** : Mikey? Are you there, baby?

 **Cal** : Mikey you Know it's alright, right? We love you more than anything. Yeah? Regardless your sexuality or gender.

 **Ash** : We are just not sure if you mean it?

 **Mikey** : I do.

 **Ash** : oh

 **Cal** : okay.

 **Luke** : I’m gay.

 **Cal** : wow.

 **Ash** : wow.

 **Mikey** : i know, Lukey.

 **Luke** : ^^ ily, mikey.

 **Mikey** : Ily2 bby

 **Cal** : they are friends again?!

 **Ash** : I don't understand their relationship whatsoever i am so lost here

 **Cal** : Probably only those who like guys can understand

 **Ash** : i still don't understand

 **Cal** : I said you’d have to like boys to understand

 **Ash** : and I said I still don't understand

 **Cal** : but- 

 **Cal** : wait

 **Cal** : u mean like-

 **Cal** : oh.

 **Cal** : …oh.

 **Cal** : …OH!!

 **Cal** : yeah, yeah, i get it now.

 **Ash** : ^^

 **Mikey** : AWW ASHIE U GAY WIT US?

 **Luke** : ashie ily im so proud bby

 **Ash** : um… yeah i think i kinda gay wit u guys but like i think i mostly bi with mikey

 **Luke** : um ok

 **Cal** : im proud of u guys rly i love y‘all

 **Ash** : but like i think i like boys mostly so like yeah.

 **Mikey** : u so punk-rock

 **Mikey** : thank callie

 **Luke** : can I be still punkrock even if I am gay

 **Mikey** : ^^*cutesy emoji*

 **Ash** : u gay-punk-gay-rock-gay u can whatever u want

 **Mikey** : ily u can  do what u want u punk-rock

 **Luke** : awwww *blushing emoji* *kissy emoji* *kitten emoji*

 **Cal:** wait u want to tell me i am the only straight person in this gay as fuck band

**Cal: …**

**Cal:** … hey

 **Cal** : …guys?

 **Cal** : …please tell me you not gonna celebrate that with a threesome in my room

 **Cal** : …this band is the gayest thing ever

 **Cal** : …I think it's time to get down on my knees infront of Jack Barakat

 **Cal** : so he'd accept me in All Time Low

 **Mikey** : Jack’s bi too

 **Ash** : I bet he’d enjoy that „getting down on your knees infront of him“

 **Luke** : tru. He Mentioned that when we were in the studio

 **Cal** : wait what

 **Ash** : he thinks  u  cute

 **Cal** : …?

 **Luke** : he thinks u hot

 **Cal** : …?!

 **Mikey** : that he’d love you to spread your legs for his massive dick and fuck you bareback like the bitch you are

 **Cal** : ?!:!“!“??‘/(/“‘!_*»<§.§ů,§ ĐĐ{][&>ß$<><$!?

 **Ash** : oh my god michael

 **Luke** : OMG :D:D:D:D

 **Cal** : I need new friends

 **Cal** : the mine ones are so gay their brains turned to superwholock fandom, or some other gay shit.

 **Luke** : you said yourself you’d enjoy getting down on your knees infront of Jack.

 **Ash** : I bet Alex would join immediately.

 **Cal** : All time low are shittiest band ever

 **Ash** : BITCH SAY WHAT?!?!?

 **Luke** : omg

 **Mikey** : bad move, bro

 **Cal** : omg ALL TIME LOW  and 5SAUCE ARE FUCKING SHIT

 **Luke** : :D omg

 **Ash** : FIVE SOS AND ALL TIME LOW ARE FUCKING GODS AND U GONNA RESPECT THAT

 **Luke** : guys stop flirting

 **Mikey** : do you guys think you can be as punkrock as luke and me

 **Cal** : FUCK U AND FUCK UR PUNKROCK CUZ PUNKROCK SUCKS!!!

 **Mikey** : BITCH SAY WHAT

 **Luke** : WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

 **Ash** : YOU SEE BITCHES ON MY SIDE

 **Cal** : BECAUSE U RE ALL U FUCKING PUNKSHITTERS

 **Mikey** : OUT OF THE BAND!

 **Luke** : U OUT OF THE BAND HOOD

 **Ash** : NOONE GONA SHIT ON 5SAUCE AND ATL

 **Mikey** :  ADN PNUCKRCOR CK

**Louis Tomlinson has joined the conversation.**

**Louis** : Kids, can you please tone it down some people here need their beauty sleep.

 **Ash** : OMG LOUIS LOUIS LOUIS BRO TELL HIM HE’S A PIECE OF SHITFACED JERK

 **Louis** : Ash, I thought at least you have got some dignity.

 **Luke** : Louis calum is RUDE AND THAT'S AN UGLY THING TO BE

 **Mikey** : LOUIS CALUM SAID ALL TIME LOW SUCK AND PUNKROCK CAN SUCK DICK

 **Louis** : do i look like i give fuck

 **Mikey** :

 **Cal** :

 **Ash** :

 **Cal** : oh my god

Luke: OH M YFOD!?!?!

 **Mikey** : OMG LOUIS WHAT LIKE WHAT ARE U?!?!!

 **Luke** : lIterally EHW THOUGHT U PKUNROCK ?!?!?§

 **Louis** : I am sleep deprivated in the first place, I had a concert and then I have to tire Niall down so he wouldn't creep on me and harry having sex, and then I had to take care of my little baby-angel. Can I PLEASE get some goodnight sleep now? Thanks.

 **Ash** : THIS IS THE REASON WHY ZAYN HAS LEFT THE BAND

 **Cal** : OH MY GOD LOUIS DO SOMETHING THEY ARE INSANE

 **Luke** : LOUIS DO SOMETHING MICHAEL IS THROWING MY STUFFED ANIMALS OUT OF MY BED AND ASHTON IS LAUGHING AT THAT

 **Mikey** : BUT LOUIS THE Y SAID PUNKROCK SUCKS,!!????!!l“!:

 **Louis** : Sometimes I think I should have left you lots on youtube.

**Louis has left the conversation.**

**Ash** : OMG LOUISI?!?!?

 **Mikey** : THIS IS THE REASON WHY ZAYN HAS LEFT THE BAND, TOO!!!

 **Luke** : could you believe this guy???!

 **Cal** : what an asshole.

 **Ash** : pffft, they say 50% ass and 50% sass. I think he‘s 50% rude and 50% not punk-rock enough.

 **Cal** : omg ily ashie ^^

 **Ash** : i love u too callie *kissy face*

 **Mikey** : wtf

 **Luke** : seriously wtf husbands arguments in italy style are our thing to do in our free time

 **Ash** : wanna cuddle callie? *kissy face* *kitten emoji*

 **Cal** : awww, yess, ashie^^*blushing emoji* *kitten emoji*

 **Mikey** : aw u two are so adorable together^^

 **Cal** : fuck off clifford

 **Ash** : aww, u jelly, callie? *kissy face*

 **Cal** : Noones gonna touch my Ashie. Mine. *heart eyes*

 **Mikey** : THIS IS WHY ZAYN HAS LEFT THE BAND

 **Luke** : I do not blame him at all.

 **Luke** : im done and im leaving this band too.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry.  
> I dont even think this is classified as a sense of humor.  
> If you have questions or just wanna have a chat, my tumblr is punk-cocks.tumblr.com.


End file.
